Wednesday, August 3, 2011

When Baha Happens

Panoorin muna ninyo.



By the time you read this, however, the Christopher Lao video may have been taken down, so heto ang masasabi namin diyan.

Yes, magpa-panic din kami kung nangyari din iyan sa amin. Yes, matataranta din kami kung hindi namin nakita yung butas sa kalsada bago namin na-realize na pinasok na ng baha ang kotse namin... but our panic attacks are rarely televised. The fact still remains that 1) this incident is on public record, and 2) he practically brought this on himself by not giving himself a chill pill before talking on camera. It was too little, too late.

****

Edited to add this link to Christopher Lao's official statement. Heto po ang pinaka-importanteng mensahe niya:

I have been silent the past few days as I want this to go away soon but not before saying sorry and thank you to people who matter. 
I would like to apologize for my behavior that was seen on nationwide television and now on the internet. It was unfortunate that I was caught on camera immediately after an overwhelmingly stressful mishap. 
I would like to again sincerely thank those who braved the flood to help a distraught stranger like me. Their selfless act reminded me of how dependable Filipinos are in times of crisis.
We accept your apology, Mr. Lao. Pero huwag na huwag mong uulitin ito, ha?

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Temptation Island, Pt. 2: Re-Casting!

Soooo..... heto na. Dahil nagustuhan namin yung girls ng Temptation Island remake (pero hindi yung guys), heto yung mga leading men na sana nakita na lang namin doon sa remake.

Joshua: 
"Parang kahapon lang ay kumakain ako ng fried chicken and cold gin pomelo..."


Ricardo: 
"Hoy bakla! Manood ka!" (Manood ng mga concerts, videos, telenovela...)


Umberto: 
"Lead singer lang po ako ng 6CycleMind. Pero kayo po, supermodel..."


Alfredo: 
Aminin na ninyo, mukhang virgin pa ito!
(Pero jack-en-poy sila ni Ned Stephenson ng Philippine Volcanoes.) 


At! Special special unbilled surprise guest cameo appearance... 
"Kayo ba ang Miss Manila Sunshine supermodels?"
Next, after the jump: The Hollywood Remake!

Temptation Island, Pt. 1: A Comparative Study

Kapapanood lang namin ni Bakeks doon sa remake ng Temptation Island. 


Ganito sila noon:


Heto sila ngayon:


Siyempre, nothing beats the original talaga. Mas malutong ang mga hirit doon. Mas magaling umarte (at mas maangas tingnan) yung mga boys. Mas gusto pa rin namin ang word na "stariray." Ang Joshua nila ay ang walang kupas na si Jonas Sebastian, na kahit baklang-bakla siya eh hindi pa rin siya bihis drag-queen. At syempre, wala pa ring tatalo sa delivery ni Azenith doon sa "walang tubig, walang pagkain" monologue.

That's not to say na wala kaming nagustuhan doon sa bago. Nakakatuwa pa rin si Rufa Mae, kahit na walang tigil ang pag-flash niya ng cleavage doon sa mga eksena niya. Natuwa din kami kay Solenn kahit na ganoon ang accent niya. (Girlcrush ng bayan iyan, oy.)  Bagay pala kay Marian ang gumanap ng "big time" na pokpok. And - unpopular opinion ahead! - mas gusto namin ang ending nito. Hindi yung part ng ending na may fasyon show churvachenes, kundi yung pinaka-ending ending mismo. Walang echapuwera!

(Nagustuhan din namin ang guest appearances nila Deborah Sun at Azenith Briones dito. OK lang na maintindihan namin kung wala si Bambi at si Jennifer - mga Binibining Pilipinas yan, oy - pero... why, Dina Bonnevie, why? Namimiss ka na namin!)

To conclude: Mas gusto pa rin namin ang orig.

That said... hindi pa rin nagtatapos ang coverage namin ng Temptation Island! ABANGAN!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

How to Lose an Endorsement

Guadalupe Intersection, before:





Guadalupe Intersection, after: 




*Photo credits: Madali pong mahanap yung mga karatula ni Dingdong sa Internet. Itong mga pix ng Philippine Volcanoes, dinaan na lang namin sa screen captures dahil ayaw naming masabunutan. Sorry! 

With extra special behind-the-scenes video! 


Bench: Hindi lang pang-EDSA, pang-isports pa!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

When Westwick Happens

Dear Piolo: This is how you wear a V-neck sweater without looking like a damned fool. Please take notes. You know you love me.  (Photo from Penshoppe's Facebook page.) 

Dear Diet: Hindi mo na kailangan mag-hubad para mapansin. Chest hair ko pa lang, ulam na. XOXO.

Dear Echo: I used to sing in a band just like you, too. Wala lang. Kthxbai.

Dear Dingdong… Wait, your name is DINGDONG? Sorry, mate.

Dear Jolo Revilla: Kung totoo nga ang naririnig ko sa mga tabi-tabi, at kailangan mo ng advice, ang masasabi ko lang sa iyo ay dapat mo talagang panoorin ang Season 5. And also, I have the perfect girlfriend for you… her name is Serena van der Woodsen.

Dear Binoe: Can’t wait to see Guns and Roses! Love it when you pull that rose out of your jacket in the trailer. You’d make an excellent florist. Speaking of, could you please make a bouquet for me? I think Blair needs better flowers to see how serious I am about her. I would truly appreciate it. 

Dear Jovit: Throat lozenges. Look into it. Also, how dare you insult the way we eat with forks and knives!

Dear Christian: "Beautiful Girl"? Really? Beautiful women fall all over my lap every season, and I don't even need to sing about them. Please. 

Dear Mr. Roxas: The first rule of being a scheming, manipulative, power-hungry bastard like me is to not wear short-sleeved polo shirts all the time. Rhett Eala has moved on; so should you.

Dear President Aquino: See above. Also, try not smiling for a change. It’ll make you look more mysterious and intense… plus it’s good for the times when you don’t have to show your teeth. (Cosigned by Damon Salvatore and Eric Northman.) 

Friday, May 27, 2011

Nagpaalam Ba Kayo sa Banda?

Ang theme song kaya ng teleseryeng ito ay SWEET CHILD O' MINE?(Tapos si Jovit/Arnel ang kakanta,pustahan!)




Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Ballad of Angelica Jones

Sigurado na kami na ito ang pinadala mo para bugbugin si Illac Diaz.



*****

And on this day in history... 

Ang isang mananayaw sa aliwan na ngayo'y kagawad ng Katipunan ay naghabla kamakailan kay William Howard Taft sa umanong hindi nila pagkasunduan sa isang proyekto ng pagpapa-aral sa mga kabataan ng Laguna.

Sa kaniyang pakikipag-talakayan kay Ginoong Eugenio Abunda sa plaza ng Balintawak, sinabi ni Binibining Angelita Nagtahan na marami siyang katibayan ng mga pag-aabuso ni Taft sa kanilang relasyon bilang kabalikat sa proyekto na ito. Pinagtapat din ni Bb. Nagtahan na naging dating ka-apid din siya ni Taft sa panahon ng pamamahala ni Emilio Aguinaldo, nguni't wala itong kinalaman sa kanilang kasalukuyang alitan.

Ang mga pahayag na ito ay pinatotoo ng isang kapwa Katipunero, na aniya'y nagbanta sa ngalan ni Binibining Nagtahan tungkol sa mga karangyaan ni Taft sa madla:

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Stop Being Baduy: Sarah Geronimo

Matagal ko na kasing gustong malaman kung totoo ang mga bali-balita na lumalaki na ang ulo ni Sarah Geronimo.

Baka nandito sa production number na ito ang kasagutan?



Sarah, darling, maawa ka naman sa sarili mo. Sige ka, kung hindi ka mag-iingat, baka mapraning ka nang husto at hindi mo na namamalayang nagpakalbo ka na.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Baduy Stalkers

Panalo talaga yung mga comments sa YouTube para sa video na ito.



Sample comments lang:
i am think about this girl, we just started talking, and this song put in the mood to talk to her
(Ano'ng klaseng mood kaya iyan? Mood para manampal?)
when my gf left me...i got really drunk..hear this song and start crying...
now im sober...i hope she rots in hell...
(Obviously this person has not seen a single episode of Intervention.)
this song make me , well remember someone ,, 4 yr ago her take my heart away.
now i hope her can run back to me soon
(Yilmaz Bektas, is that you?)

At ang pinaka-nakakagimbal sa kanilang lahat...
LOVE ([name redacted]) sa DALAWANG ARAW KITANG HINDI MAKAKAUSAP,,you CUT my HEART like a KNIFE........
(Wow, pare, dalawang araw lang? Yung ibang tao diyan, inaabot ng tatlong taon bago mamalayan na sila'y sinaksak na ng kutsilyo, binuhusan pa ng asido, at pinukpok ng martilyo. Amateur!)

Plus, one week later!
[Name Redacted Ulit] (kulasang basa) Imiss KO Ang lahat lahat,,sa ginawa mo sa aki para mo nang sinaksak ang PUSO ko,,laging ang saiyo lang ang alam mo,,,pero ang sa akin ay hindi mo alam........
(Alam mo, may kasabihan sa wikang Ingles na tunay na nararapat sa sitwasyon mo: DUDE, SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. Tapos may pa-comment comment ka pa diyan sa YouTube. Ipa-pulis ka pa namin diyan, hala ka.)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Stop Being Baduy: The Remaining Members of Oasis

Dear Liam Gallagher:



We have no problem with you paying constant tribute to The Beatles. However...

1) Umamin ka na - kinopya mo ang chord pattern and drum line ng kantang ito sa "Instant Karma," ano?

2) This song would have been ten million times better if it was performed by Orange and Lemons.

3) Also, judging by the close-ups of your face in this video, hindi lang sound ng banda mo ang pinaglipasan ng panahon. Parang awa mo na, manalamin ka na nga, dahil mukha ka nang dehydrated na bayawak.

Baduyfully yours,

Meimei

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Baduylentine's 2011

Wala ka bang date ngayong Valentine's day?Eto o,mamili ka.Walang sinabi ang mga Azkals dito:





Sabi nga ni Chito Miranda "My name is Peter North and I'm from Houston, Colorado." Hahaha!

Happy Valentine's Day from When Baduy Happens!